


Tales From the Grass Station

by Hitchhikers_Guide_to_the_Internet



Series: Danganronpa Group Chats [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Amami's sisters will probably show up eventually!, And by the good stuff I mean W E E D, And maybe Korekiyo's sister too, And written on my Kindle Fire, Becase fuck you, But idc because it's crack, C R A C K, Crack, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, GET REKT ON, Group chat, He totally just wants soda and oreos, I HATE the first chapters, I Love You, I dunno why, I feel like they're too focused on shipping, I just felt like it, I just realized Jell-O has it's own tag, I'm adding that, I'm failing, I'm gonna change it later!, Jell-O, Jk I don't, Kokichi just wants Oreos goddamn it, Kokichi likes Western musicals, Legit I want to make entertaining tags, Let's milk dem tags, Little Shop of Horrors totally has tentacle porn of it and I need to find it, Lmao you got PRANKED, M/M, No please don't leave me, Not because they're sad but because they're precious, Now I gotta add shit about Jell-O so I'm not tag baiting, O fucc, RIP, RYOMA DESERVES HAPPINESS GODDAMN IT!, Rontaro has the good stuff, Spoiler Free™, Textfic, Texting, That tag isn't a thing so I don't feel bad for adding it, The piano thot is a piano thot, There ain't no mastermind here boi, Uhhhh..., Why?, also!, anyway, everyone is out of character, god is dead and we killed him, great, idk - Freeform, legit tho, there may be fluff, there will be lots of crack, there will be no angst, this is all a joke, w e e d
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 11:56:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15684960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hitchhikers_Guide_to_the_Internet/pseuds/Hitchhikers_Guide_to_the_Internet
Summary: Tenko being scary,Kirumi being mom,Kokichi being Kokichi,Shuichi being disappointed in everyone,Maki being able to kill you,And Kaede being the madlad she was destined to be.Pretty much cannon!Also, nobody is straight.The queerness doesn't affect the plot much.It just gave me an excuse to use a few of the names.





	1. Study Buddies With Benefits

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> I haven't been active much because I was away from the computer on vacation at my grand parents' house, and I'm currently volunteering at a week long day camp!  
> So, if you're wondering why I haven't updated the other one, now you know!  
> It was also my birthday yesterday, so I decided not to write then.  
> I wanted a change of pace, so I ended up writing this!  
> I'm gonna keep up both textfics at the same time, so don't worry!
> 
> Also, Tsumugi is spelled wrong.  
> I'll fix it later, but for now, it's staying that way.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it starts with four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One REALLY important thing to remember!  
> All the chapter titles are named off of things someone said in my real life, likely a group chat.  
> This includes the actually fanfiction itself's name.

_**Rantaro added Shuichi, Kokichi, and Kaede to Group Project** _

 

 **Rantaro:** Alright, first things first.

 

 **Rantaro:** We need to split up the work.

 

 **Kokichi:** Awwww...

 

 **Kokichi:** Can't I have a LITTLE fun first?

 

 **Rantaro:** Kokichi, last time I said yes to that, I was renamed "Avacadon't"

 

 **Kaede:** KOKICHI OUMA. NO. WE DO NOT DISRESPECT THE GREAT POWER OF THE AVOCADO.

 

 **Shuichi** : Ooh, you just got surnamed.

 

 **Shuichi:** By KAEDE.

 

 **Rantaro:** You have a death wish.

 

 **Rantaro:** Smh...

 

 **Kokichi:** Stop ganging up on me!!

 

 **Rantaro:** Anyone who uses an even number of exclamation points is gay. That's a fact.

 

 **Shuichi:** You used two exclamation points when you told me about Kirumi's home-made guacamole???

 

 **Kokichi:** OOH, EXPOSED!

 

 **Rantaro:** Touché.

**Kaede:** Notice how he's not denying anything.

 

 **Rantaro:** ;)))

 

 **Kokichi:** AHDGDUJWOQPDJXNCNBEEYYSHWUWISN

 

 **Shuichi:** QPOSNXOAKSJDJEJSJEJWJKWJWOQKQJSNDNNDHEHWNS

 

 **Kaede:** You got two keyboard smashes.

 

 **Kaede:** Good job.

 

 **Shuichi:** Actually, Miu predicted this.

 

 **Rantaro:** I don't think I want to know.

 

 **Shuichi:** You don't.

 

_**Kokichi changed Rantaro's name to Avacado Twink** _

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Not wrong, tbh.

**Kaede:** AVOCADO TWINK, I'M WHEEZING.

 

 **Shuichi:** Hold up.

 

 **Kaede:** Okay, now I'm scared.

 

_**Shuichi changed Kokichi's name to Eggplant Twink** _

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** .......

 

 **Shuichi:** Oh no, I'm scared for what he's gonna do...

 

 **Avocado Twink:** I never knew Shuichi was vengeful! You learn some thing new every day...

 

 **Kaede:** You're worried about THAT and NOT whatever Kokichi is planning???

__

_**Kokichi changed Shuichi's name to Glass Closet** _

**Kaede:** AONWHQODLMCLWNENS

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Aw, I wanted him to match.

 

 **Glass Closet:** You knew I was bi?

**Glass Closet:** H O W ?

**Eggplant Twink:** You had a HUGE crush on like... Half the guys in class at some point in time.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** And dated Kaede for, like, two months.

 

 **Kaede:** LMAOOOOOO

 

 **Glass Closet:** Wtf

 

 **Kaede:** You were in the closet, but it was made of glass.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Notice how he isn't denying anything.

 

 **Kaede:** YOU STOLE THAT

 

 **Kaede:** IM SUING

 

 **Kaede:** SEE YOU IN COURT, BISH

 

 **Kaede:** Oh, also, tbh, you had a chance with, like, all of them.

 

 **Glass Closet:** W h a t

**Avocado Twink:** Oh yeah, every guy had a crush on you at some point in time.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Except for Ryoma and Gonta, because they're ace/aro icons.

 

 **Glass Closet:** Wait, EVERYONE ELSE?

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** OKAY, changing the topic!

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** We all have names... Except one.

 

 **Kaede:** Oh no.

**Glass Closet:** Press F to pay your respects.

 

**Avocado Twink:**

 

 **Kaede:** WTF RANTARO???

 

 **Avocado Twink:** That's what you get for sending me pictures of geckos at 3 in the morning.

 

 **Kaede:** JANWJQOJDNCJENHEEN

 

 **Glass Closet:** EXPOSED.

 

_**Eggplant Twink changed Kaede's name to Lemon Twink** _

 

 **Lemon Twink:** Lol, I'm too thic to be a twink.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** I feel insulted by that. I am wounded.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** No you aren't.

**Lemon Twink:** I don't wanna match you though.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** Fair enough.

 

_**Eggplant Twink changed Lemon Twink's name to Scissoring Yo Mama and Sucking Yo Daddy** _

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Very complicated way to say she's bi.

 

 **Avocado Twink** : Not that I'm complaining.

**Scissoring Yo Mama and Sucking Yo Daddy** : NANAONWOQOWPXKDIHEHSHE

 

 **Scissoring Yo Mama and Sucking Yo Daddy:** How do you even know???

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** Cause' you had a huge crush on mom.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** And dated Shuichi.

 

**Scissoring Yo Mama and Sucking Yo Daddy:**

**Scissoring Yo Mama and Sucking Yo Daddy:** Touché.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Hold up, I'm gonna do something I'll regret.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** Press F to pay your respects.

**Glass Closet:** F

 

 **Scissoring Yo Mama and Sucking Yo Daddy:** F

 

 **Scissoring Yo Mama and Sucking Yo Daddy:** Please change my name though.

 

_**Avocado Twink changed Scissoring Yo Mama and Sucking Yo Daddy's name to Clair de Lemon** _

 

 **Clair de Lemon:** Nice.

**Glass Closet:** WAIT, WE NEVER STUDIED!!!

 

_**Avocado Twink added Angie, Keebo, Tsgumi, and 9 others to Group Project** _


	2. Pepperteers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The nickname cheat sheet:  
> Kokichi: Eggplant Twink  
> Rantaro: Avocado Twink  
> Shuichi: Glass Closet  
> Kaede: Clare de Lemon

**Angie:** Atua says this will end in disaster! Angie believes she must let Atua be there to help and guide her friends through the turmoil.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** I some how already regret my choice, and nothing happened yet.

 

 **Miu:** Avocado Twink? Who the fuck ARE you?

**Gonta:** Gonta not understand... Gonta sorry...

 

 **Kirumi:** It's okay, Gonta. Don't worry about it.

 

 **Maki:** Stop.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** No.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** Mood.

 

 **Clare de Lemon:** You're one to talk.

 

 **Miu:** OOOOOOOOF!

 

 **Glass Closet:** You just got ROASTED.

 

 **Kaito:** Who tf are the named people???

 

 **Korekiyo:** Allow me to take a guess on who these disappointments to society are.

 

 **Tenko:** You're one to talk, degenerate!

 

 **Himiko:** Now now.

 

 **Tenko:** Sorry bae.  <3

 

 **Himiko:** <3

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** GAG

 

 **Korekiyo:** "Avocado Twink" is obvious.

 

 **Tsugumi:** Really? Who?

 

 **Ryoma:** Who ELSE do we call an avocado?

 

 **Avocado Twink:** You caught me.

 

 **Kaito:** I still don't get it...

 

 **Glass Closet:** How are you THIS stupid?

 

 **Maki:** I'm disappointed in you.

 

 **Kaito:** Sorry hun. :((

 

 **Maki:** SHUT

 

 **Tenko:** For you DEGENERATE MALE, I won't say!

 

 **Gonta:** Gonta know who it is! Gonta not understand name still...

**Clare de Lemon:** Seriously, REALLY don't worry about it.

 

 **Gonta:** Okay!!!

**Korekiyo:** Anyway, Avocado Twink is obviously Amami.

 

 **Tsugumi:** OOOOOH! That makes sense!

 

 **Avocado Twink** : Yep.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** And tbh, it's true.

 

 **Miu:** So...

 

 **Miu:** I WAS RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME???

 

 **Miu:** I am shook.

 

 **Clare de Lemon:** Miu, you're pan and you can spot another queer person from a mile away. You're not THAT shook.

 

 **Glass Closet:** MIU, YOU LITERALLY MADE A LIST OF EVERYONE'S SEXUALITY AND YOU LISTED HIM GAY. HOW ARE YOU SURPRISED.

 

 **Miu:** Wait, how did you know?!?

 

 **Glass Closet:** I saw it in your lab when Keebo asked me to help him find scrap metal in there for an assignment in science.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** You got EXPOSED.

 

 **Korekiyo:** Hello, Kokichi. Please go commit die.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** OQBDKZNALMEPENENS

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ME???

 

 **Korekiyo:** Because Kaito is the only other one we have ever called an eggplant, and he is currently not nicknamed.

 

 **Kaito:** DON'T REMIND HIM!!!

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** Thanks for reminding me.  >:3

 

_**Eggplant Twink changed Kaito's name to I Believe I Can Fly** _

 

 **I Believe I Can Fly:** Delete your account.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** THAT REMINDS ME!

 

 **I Believe I Can Fly:** NO.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** YES.

 

_**Eggplant Twink changed Maki's name to Go Commit Die** _

 

 **Tenko:** I can't even disagree.

 

 **Himiko:** Even if I wanted to disagree, I couldn't.

 

 **Glass Closet:** Sad, but true!

 

 **I Believe I Can Fly:** Sorry, Maki Roll, but I gotta agree...

 

 **Clare de Lemon:** Accurate, lmao.

 

 **Gonta:** Gonta not understand?

 

 **Clare de Lemon:** It's a meme. I'll show you later.

 

 **Tsugumi:** True.

 

 **Korekiyo:** Pretty much.

 

 **Miu:** Yep!

 

 **Keebo:** Sadly... Yes.

 

 **Ryuma:** I'd be even more disappointed with Kokichi than usual, but he's not wrong.

 

 **Kirumi:** Improper grammar, but yes.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** Sigh...

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** Mom, even you???

 

 **Kirumi:** I am merely doing my job.

 

_**Eggplant Twink changed Kirumi's name to Mom Friend** _

 

 **Miu:** Do me next!

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** This is sexual harassment.

 

 **Miu:** Not like that, you nasty pervert!

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** That's tame for you.

 

_**Eggplant Twink changed Miu's name to Sharpay** _

 

 **Sharpay:** HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SUCKED!

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** I know. I don't care.

 

 **Korekiyo:** Anyway, Clare de Lemon is Kaede, because it's piano related, which means Glass Closet is Shuichi, or else we would've seen his name.

 

 **Glass Closet:** No dip Sherlock.

 

 **I Believe I Can Fly:** Wtf even is that name tho

 

 **Glass Closet:** Long story.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** GUYS. I got two ideas.

 

 **Clare de Lemon:** OH NO.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Rip our sanity.

 

 **Glass Closet:** Press F to pay respect.

 

 **Tsugumi:** F

 

 **Korekiyo:** F

 

 **Mom Friend:** F

 

 **Clare de Lemon:** F

 

 **Avocado Twink:** F

 

 **Sharpay:** F

 

 **Tenko:** F

 

 **Gonta:** F!!!! :D

 

 **Keebo:** F

 

_**Eggplant Twink changed Keebo's name to Iron Midget** _

 

 **I Believe I Can Fly:** F

 

 **Angie:** F

 

 **Himiko:** F

 

 **Go Commit Die:** F

 

_**Eggplant Twink changed Sharpay's name to Multiple Orgasms** _

 

 **Ryoma:** F

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Rip Keebo

 

 **Iron Midget:** This is robophobic! Are you saying we all look the same?!?

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT RACIST SOMETIMES

 

 **Avocado Twink:** ...

 

 **Avocado Twink:** That doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** I AM SHOOK

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** MY DEAR RANTARO KNOWS WESTERN MUSICALS

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Yeah.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Long story short, I was suuuuuuuper high, and when I woke up sober, I realized I left my phone out, and high me thought it was a great idea to buy a bunch of Western musical soundtracks.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** That... That is truly beautiful... Brings a tear to my eye.

 

 **Avocado Twink:** Tbh, it's probably good that I have them now, because the only Western musicals my sisters knew before that happened were Newsies, High School Musical (1, 2, and 3) Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, and a bunch of Disney stuff.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** Rip.

 

 **Glass Closet:** You make either good choices of bad choices when you're high, and I can't tell which.

 

 **Clare de Lemon:** You're pretty chill when you're high.

 

 **I Believe I Can Fly:** When is he NOT chill?

 

 **Clare de Lemon:** Touché.

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** GUUUUUUUYS!

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** You're gonna listen up and stop ignoring me!

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** We're gonna play...

 

 **Eggplant Twink:** TRUTH OR DARE OVER TEXT!

 

_**Ryoma has left the chat** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update on nicknames:  
> Kokichi: Eggplant Twink  
> Rantaro: Avocado Twink  
> Shuichi: Glass Closet  
> Kaede: Clare de Lemon  
> Kaito: I Believe I Can Fly  
> Maki: Go Commit Die  
> Keebo: Iron Midget  
> Miu: Multiple Orgasms


	3. Yaga Yeet, You Done Been YOINKED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just filler  
> It doesn't affect anything  
> I just wanted an excuse to add more names  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this one was typed up on my Kindle, so bolding doesn't show up.  
> I'll fix it soon, though!  
> So don't worry if it's annoying!
> 
> And here's the nickname chart!  
> Kokichi: Eggplant Twink  
> Rantaro: Avocado Twink  
> Shuichi: Glass Closet  
> Kaede: Clair de Lemon (spelling fixed)  
> Kaito: I Believe I Can Fly  
> Maki: Go Commit Die  
> Keebo: Iron Midget  
> Miu: Multiple Orgasms  
> Kirumi: Mom Friend

Ryoma: F U C K

 

Eggplant Twink: Like what I did to your mom?

 

Ryoma: Lmao, like you'd fuck my mom

 

Eggplant Twink: Is that a challange?

 

Avocado Twink: I am now highly disturbed.

 

Multiple Orgasms: Lol, same.

 

Glass Closet: On god...

 

Clair de Lemon: What

 

Glass Closet: Every single FUCKING TIME I think we might act normal, this happens.

 

I Believe I Can Fly: OOOOOOOOOOF

 

Multiple Orgasms: SHUICHI IS PIIIIIIISSED

 

Eggplant Twink: Ur welcome :)))

 

Glass Closet: Do you have a death wish

 

Eggplant Twink: Yes

 

Glass Closet: That's a lie

 

Eggplant Twink: *joke

 

Glass Closet: Stop being edgy

 

Eggplant Twink: Says the guy who wears all black, pants and long sleeve shirt, in the middle of summer

 

Glass Closet:

 

Multiple Orgasms: I'm gonna say it for him. Touché.

 

Eggplant Twink changed Glass Closet's name to Ouch the Edge

 

Avocado Twink: I swear to god, Miu, don't you say it...

 

Multiple Orgasms: Ouch.

 

Avocado Twink: And you said it...

 

Eggplant Twink: Now that THAT'S settled, let the game begin!

 

Clair de Lemon: We can just meet up and play normally???

 

Clair de Lemon: We're all on campus????????

 

Eggplant Twink: Lol, no we aren't

 

Eggplant Twink: Besides, that's boring

 

Ouch the Edge: No, you just wants pictures. Pics or it didn't happen, right?

 

Eggplant Twink: You wound me.

 

Eggplant Twink: Not wrong though, lol.

 

Mom Friend: If this game ends with any messes, just alert me.

 

Eggplant Twink: Aw... You not gonna play?

 

Mom Friend: Unfortunately, no, as I cannot ask questions or give tasks, as that would be the opposite of fulfilling my role as a maid.

 

Eggplant Twink: Fine...

 

I Believe I Can Fly: BACK FROM THE SHOPPING TRIP TO THIS

 

Avocado Twink: I was wondering where you guys were!

 

 Go Commit Die: We had to stop texting you during the drive.

 

Eggplant Twink: Everyone who's here, press F

 

Clair de Lemon: F

 

Multiple Orgasms: F

 

Ryoma: F...

 

Ouch the Edge: F

 

Avocado Twink: F

 

Iron Midget: F

 

Tsumugi: F

 

Tenko: F

 

Himiki: F

 

Korekiyo: F

 

Angie: F

 

Gonta: F!!!!!! :D

 

Eggplant Twink: One thing before we start.

 

Eggplant Twink changed Ryoma's name to Evil Midget

 

Ouch the Edge: You're one to talk.

 

Eggplant Twink: I'll choose to ignore that.

 

Eggplant Twink changed Angie's name to Atuaspell

 

Eggplant Twink changed Gonta's name to Smol Bean

 

Eggplant Twink changed Tenko's name to Tumblr

 

Eggplant Twink changed Tsumugi's name to Now on Wattpad

 

Eggplant Twink changed Korekiyo's name to Thriller

 

Eggplant Twink changed Himiko's name to Probably Otherkin

 

Thriller: Thriller?

 

Eggplant Twink: Michael Jackson, bish

 

Thriller: I may not know who that is, but for now I will respect this choice of name.

 

Atuaspell: Atua says you are a madman, with evil worshipping names!

 

Eggplant Twink: A madman is just a mature madlad

 

Ouch the Edge: Stop

 

Eggplant Twink: No

 

Ouch the Edge: Ok

 

I Believe I Can Fly: YOU'RE JUST GONNA LET HIM DO THIS???

 

Ouch the Edge: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Eggplant Twink: HAHA!

 

I Believe I Can Fly: Fuck you

 

Eggplant Twink: I'd fuck me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the first FULL nickname list!  
> Kokichi: Eggplant Twink  
> Rantaro: Avocado Twink  
> Shuichi: Ouch the Edge  
> Kaede: Clair de Lemon  
> Kaito: I Believe I Can Fly  
> Maki: Go Commit Die  
> Keebo: Iron Midget  
> Miu: Multiple Orgasms  
> Kirumi: Mom Friend  
> Ryoma: Evil Midget  
> Tsumugi: Now on Wattpad  
> Tenko: Tumblr  
> Gonta: Smol Bean  
> Korekiyo: Thriller  
> Himiko: Probably Otherkin  
> Angie: Atuaspell

**Author's Note:**

> Too keep you on track, here are the nicknames:  
> Shuichi: Glass Closet  
> Kaede: Clare de Lemon  
> Kokichi: Eggplant Twink  
> Rantaro: Avocado Twink


End file.
